Nova Wageningen deals with plant medicine, natural health and awareness development. The goal of Nova is, of course, to re-think how we can nourish ourselves in a healthy way, to feel again, to come back into balance and ultimately to be in our power. When I was asked to write an article for the website, my thoughts went straight to the subject of compassion. For Nova I will write informative articles but it seems nice to start by sharing my experience about compassion, hopefully this inspires.
In my journey of discovery in health, nutrition as medicine, self-development and consciousness I often come across the importance of having (self) compassion. Self-compassion helps me to find peace in where I stand, helping me to look at myself more positively and lovingly and accept more pieces of myself. I see that all the more compassion. I have to myself, the more compassion I feel for others.
But how do you develop more self-compassion?
As I wrote at the beginning, I share my experience with you. So it's my subjective truth, written from my perspective. Of course, that doesn't mean that your understanding of compassion is the same as how I look at this theme. So take what resonates with you and let this text turn you on to form your own view on this theme.
We cannot force ourselves into development from judgment and dissatisfaction. At least that's my opinion. In order to develop ourselves, security is of great importance. I think compassion can also create a sense of security. Compassion to me means warmth, acceptance, softness, connectedness to yourself and to another. By having compassion for yourself you create a loving place in which space arises to further develop yourself. Letting go of old patterns and opening up to new paths is easier if you feel comfortable with yourself, and if you may be there by yourself.
We often need everything from ourselves. In our society there is a lot of value in being productive and performing. In the world of health and self-development, you often encounter things that you could do "better" and how to live "even healthier." I think that makes it very easy to think That you're not good enough yet, and that you can feel pressure to always do more.
My own experience
When I struggled with unhealthy eating patterns a few years ago, I tried to make sure that I felt better about my body. These living and eating rules and the high expectations I set myself from an aversion I felt to myself and my body held me. I had constant judgment about myself, I didn't think I was good enough. From that judgment and discontent I didn't come out of the vicious circle that I so desperately wanted to come out of. I tried very hard to get out, but it was too forced and not loving to myself.
There are several things that helped me to get out of that negative spiral at the time. So how to practice self-compassion, I would like to share with you on the basis of some examples.
Let's see. A picture that someone has taken of you and you are thinking, "Oh, my God, I look!"! If you notice this negative thought of yourself, how does it feel to be so judgmental about yourself? I think observation can bring a lot of insights. Try to be curious about the negative thoughts you become aware of. For example, ask yourself where those thoughts can come from and how they affect you. Without judging that it is "bad" to have negative thoughts. It's just there. Try to understand your thoughts and feelings better from that curiosity.
Are there then ways to reverse negative thoughts, and to find more "proof" for that reversed thought? In this case, for example, you can remind yourself of the reasons why you feel grateful for your body. Maybe you'll feel grateful for your legs for bringing you to nice places. Or think about your face and how to show interest in others, whether it's a compassionate look or a big smile. Maybe you feel grateful for your whole body because your body makes it possible to discover this world, to have beautiful encounters and to hug your loved ones. Which thoughts feel supportive and make you feel better?
Another way I offer myself compassion at times of discontent about (sharing) myself is that I give extra care and attention to myself. Sometimes that is in the form of warm layings of hands or a face, abdomen, leg or foot massage of myself. Sometimes I grab a hot jug or put a cup of herbal tea for myself. And sometimes I take a walk or take a refreshing shower to avoid being stuck in a negative stream of thoughts. I'll focus on self-care. Self-care looks different to everyone. Do you already have a list of simple and small things to take care of yourself when you need some extra warmth and love? Otherwise, I would definitely recommend making a list for yourself. I'll give you some examples below that will inspire you.
Get some fresh air. Make a warm cup of tea for yourself with herbs that carry a warm, quiet and loving energy: raspberry leaf, rose, marigold, chamomile, cocoa. A self-massage. Put on your favorite song and sing along or dance along to let the possibly solid energy flow. Make yourself a nutritious meal. Listen to a guided meditation. Find a quiet place to sit or lie down and do a body scan: feel conscious about the different parts of your body.
Have patience with yourself as you engage in this and focus on the smallest steps you can take to help you experience more peace.
I've had a lot of self-compassion practice. At first they were small and more frequent moments in which I, despite not being where I wanted to be, softness, understanding, warmth, satisfaction and compassion for myself. Also for the parts I had trouble with, felt shame for or rather put away. I think self-compassion involves a certain softness and warmth that can be very healing. You then create a safe environment in which you dare to be more and to accept yourself more, with everything that pertains to you and makes you unique. From there it can also feel easier to stimulate and encourage yourself in a loving way to make choices that really support you.
Everything you've been through so far (and also what the generations have been through for you) makes you the person you are now, and affects how you behave in this world. The experiences you've had form you. Be curious about yourself in this, and try to have compassion and understanding. You never lag behind on your own life, you're the one who sets the unique pace and your own path.
